spillthebeans

I’ve recently been made aware of the vlogging duo that is Hank and John Green. (You may know John Green from his book The Fault in Our Stars , which I hope to read very soon.) They talk about a variety of subjects, and seem to really understand teenagers. Plus, they’re hilarious. Overall, they’re pretty awesome. But what I didn’t know was that Hank actually has a chronic disease—ulcerative colitis. I was browsing the Green brothers’ channel one day and was honestly really surprised to see this video. I was instantly intrigued. I watched the whole thing, and I so appreciate how real and transparent he was. Every point he made resonated with me and made me wish the whole world could hear this video. I’d have to say that it’s one of the most accurate summaries of the aspects of living with a chronic illness that I’ve ever seen. So whether you’re struggling to understand what it’s like for someone you know who has a chronic illness, or you have one yourself and just would like a little va...

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brethren whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and is anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. —Philippians 4:6-8 (NASB) My name is Kayla Woodhouse. I am a Christian, a David Phelps “Phan”, a swimmer, an author, an artist, a music freak, and more. Sounds normal, huh? Well, think again! (I personally think that no one is normal… and that normal is “so overrated”…) :) Before I tell you anything more about myself, though, I’d like to explain that I am a firm believer in God. And I also believe with everything in me that God “knows the plans [He] has for [us], plans to prosper [us] and not to harm [us], plans to give [us] hope and...

I never wanted to be the weak one. And yet here I am. Everything has come to a head today. I am fatigued. So, so tired. I'm barely sleeping because I'm itching and anxious. The itching and anxiety are directly connected it seems; when I have anxiety, my skin feels like it's burning from the inside out. And unfortunately, that's pretty much been all the time. People say all the time, "you're so brave. you're so strong. you're so positive." Honestly, I don't feel that way. I have yelled at my mom this week more times than I'd care to count. I've cried and cried and cried and cried. I've yelled at God, I've been so angry. I've punched my mattress a few times because I literally do not know how to handle this. I'm not as positive and great at this as everyone thinks I am. I'm really not. I'm kind of having a breakdown today. It's been two months of a living hell and I want it to stop. But it won't stop. I fe...

Once again, I apologize for my absence. The irony here is that I’m not feeling up to managing my blog for those with chronic illness… because I’m too busy struggling with my own chronic illness. The latest update in this saga is a doozy. Yesterday I got hives on my hands. This morning my mom emailed two of my doctors and both of them said to go off of the medication I’ve been on for the past three weeks because they think I’m having an allergic reaction. This medication was supposed to help with my nerve pain, but all it’s done is made things ten times worse. We’re not quite sure if I am indeed allergic to this, but time will tell. Until then, I’m dealing with even more agony than I thought I could withstand. It’s funny. I keep thinking things can’t get worse, and then they do. I keep wishing I could go back to the way I was back before this yeast overgrowth started, when I dealt with only fibro. Yes, it was pain. Yes, I hated it. But it was ten times better than what I’m going through...

I’m spending the week with one of my closest friends, so I’ll have to ask you to forgive my absence. It’s been a whirlwind already but one of the best times I’ve had in a long while. It’s been amazing and I’m loving it so much. In the meantime, my fibromyalgia does not let up when I have company—if anything, the symptoms are even more unfortunate when I do have friends over. I’ve already had a splitting headache once, last night, and today I’m feeling very fatigued. I’m on a new medication that has a side effect of sleepiness and dizziness, and those side effects hit especially hard today. Despite this fact, I just got done having immense fun outside with my friend and siblings—doing a photo shoot and making amateur videos. It was great fun, but now I’m beat. One of the things I’ve been working on is being more open and honest with my friends when I do feel awful, and so far it’s paid off well. It means the world to me to have my friend understand and know that I’m not feeling well. Ev...

“We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out.”  -Ray Bradbury Whew. What a start for this blog. The encouragement and outpouring of support from you guys has been incredible and unexpected. Thank you. Thank you so much. It means the world to me that you already like this blog and want to see it succeed—after all, I do too. Tuesday was a flurry of excitement as I started the blog and had inspiration bursting out of my veins and onto the screen. It was amazing. After months of lying dormant, my creativity was awakened. I accomplished something. But now I’m kind of in a rut. It’s the letdown after a huge rollercoaster high of amazing comments and likes and pageviews and getting to hear all of your stories. But now I’m just like… now what? Where do I go from here? I have so many ideas, so many thoughts, and I don’t know where to begin. I could talk about my doctor’s appointment earlier today, which, w...

I don’t talk about it much online, and I really don’t have a true reason, other than, I honestly don’t think about it much anymore. But, a dear friend (Oh how much more she has gone through) sparked the inspiration to talk about my thorn. I have Knee Bursitis. Bursitis is a condition where the padding in your joints (called Bursea) becomes inflamed. It’s pretty painful at times. Thankfully, it isn’t an all the time ache (Thank the Lord) but when it does, it can get pretty crippling.   I’m not going to go into much detail over it, except, that when you can’t run, or be terribly active because otherwise, your knees feel like they are about to crumble, and make you fall, you feel....awkward.  It’s no fun having to sit out at your brother’s 5K races, and tell everyone “I don’t like running” when, there is nothing you;d like more then being able to try at least once.  When all your friends try goading you into running on Thursday nights with them, and you can’t, because you k...