It's Never Going to Be Perfect // Welcome Back to Young & Sick

The thing about me is that a.) I'm a perfectionist and b.) I have anxiety. Those two things fight constantly to make life an ever-living struggle. One side-effect is that this blog has languished by the wayside for far too long. (Of course, there's also the fact that I am often way too sick to update it, but I digress.) I often worry about posts because they aren't perfect enough. They aren't good enough. They aren't done.

Enough of that.

This blog is never going to be perfect. My life is a constant mess. That is the very nature of living with this disease. The best service I can give to you, my readers and my friends, is to admit that and accept it, then try to move forward.

So... one year after my first post, welcome back to this blog. I'm glad you're here. Let's embrace our messy, imperfect lives together.

With love,
Sky

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In Which I Spill the Beans :: My Life Story

Pain. It’s a warning. A flash of red against your eyelids, a stabbing sensation in your thigh. It’s what you feel when you stub your toe or when you hit your head on the doorway because you’re a 6’7” basketball player. Pain is what your body does when there’s something wrong. And it’s what I experience every day. But first, let me back up sixteen years. I was born. (Duh.) But the circumstances leading up to it are… intense, to say the least. If you were watching a movie of my life, I think you’d most likely be on the edge of your seat. At least, I’ve been on the edge of my seat for my life. My parents almost lost me twice; the first when my mom started bleeding during the pregnancy, and the second time happened when I was (trying) to come out and be born into the world. Oh, and there was actually a third time, which happened when I had to have heart surgery at only two days old. But I made it through. Fast forward to the present day. Remember my lovely metaphors for pain at the beginni...

My Story

Pain is a warning. It’s what you feel when you stub your toe or when you hit your head on the doorway because you’re a 6’7” basketball player. Pain is what your body does when there’s something wrong. And it’s what I experience every day. But first, let me back up nineteen years. I was born. (Duh.) But the circumstances leading up to it are… intense, to say the least. If you were watching a movie of my life, I think you’d most likely be on the edge of your seat. At least, I’ve been on the edge of my seat for my life. My parents almost lost me twice; the first when my mom started bleeding during the pregnancy, and the second time happened when I was (trying) to come out and be born into the world. Oh, and there was actually a third time, which happened when I had to have heart surgery at only two days old. But I made it through. Fast forward to the present-day. Remember my lovely metaphors for pain at the beginning of this post? Well, it just so happens that I’m well acquainted with the...

The Awkward Stage: When Your Symptoms Are Unexplained and Undiagnosed

So, we've already talked about being a spoonie. But what if you don't have a diagnosis? I've been there. And it's awful. For years, I suffered from random headaches. We had no idea where they came from. We thought it was my hair weighing my head down, so I cut it all off. We thought it was corn syrup, so I quit eating that. We tried solution after solution, but nothing seemed to help. Even after cutting my hair and avoiding food additives, I still got headaches. In addition, there were all sorts of random symptoms. Dizziness and nausea. Exhaustion. Overstimulation. I couldn't seem to exert myself at all. Even as a little kid, when we went to an event, I'd come home, cry, and conk out. If you know the symptoms of fibromyalgia , it probably seems obvious to you what I had. And in 2010, we finally figured that out, too. But before that, there was a long waiting period. And quite honestly, it sucked. Not knowing what's wrong with you is one of the hardest things...

spillthebeans

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